Stuck In Between

Just a quick outpour.. I'm stuck in between doors, one in front and another behind me. I guess that's how it feels when something new's ahead of you. You've got a choice either to move forward or go by the back door..

What complicates things is being at a place of indecision - less or no risk at all, just smooth sailing. That's where I am right now and I want to get out of it. I don't want to stay there and be a double-minded person that gets tossed back and forth.. going nowhere.. achieving close to nothing.

God, show me your way... that I may walk with You...

Two Pairs Up To My Leaders!

In appreciation of the leaders I was under for the last five years in City Harvest, I am dedicating this blog entry to them. Each one has a unique leadership style that were equally effective in making a difference in the lives of people like mine. And for that I give you TWO PAIRS OF THUMBS UP! (Toes included..hehe)

Some of the qualities I will always remember them for are described below:

EDMUND TAY:

Our Zone Supervisor

If he wasn't standing by the reception desk that one afternoon in Jurong West in 2002, I wouldn't have ended up in ET zone. Boss, as many of us address him after "Bro. Edmund" was dropped, is the kind that makes things happen at the soonest time possible. My month-long wait for a cell group to belong to was over when he got a cell group leader to call me asap that day.

I had a golden privilege to have worked with him closely in the ministry for half a year. Until now I get snapshots of those moments with him. His words are so full of wisdom, it cuts through the heart deeply. He was the one who got me into playing guitar and continues to encourage me to rise up. He is a man of excellence who wouldn't miss important details no matter how trivial they may seem.

His people skills are so amazing that he can relate to anybody - young or old. He can goof around and crack jokes as a friend while at the same time be decisive and firm as a mentor. One look from him gets people moving into action and they get things done more effectively.

And man, his blog is simply fantastic! It's an open book to his life that continues to bless people of all ages. He is a great Dad not only to his own children, but to his disciples in the household of faith - which makes ET zone the family that it is today.

JER BLINN: E99

(June - Oct 2002 & year 2005)

Jerb is my very first cell group leader in CHC - and a senior leader who raised many other great leaders in the zone together with Boss ET. I described her in my previous blog as a woman of grace and strength for she exhibits great leadership with poise =)

She got me to do many "firsts" which were very overwhelming and uncomfortable in the beginning. The pain of being stretched out of comfort zone, however, enlarged my capacity for handling even greater pressures. The vision of becoming a leader was not far-fetched with all the support she gave me. Though we no longer get in touch as before, I continue to observe her life from afar and I get encouraged by the treasures from her that I still hold on to this day.

LUCAS: E316

(Sept 2006 - Sept 2007)

Lucas is indeed a human magnet. Any person can easily click with him. Strangers would not have difficulty engaging him in meaningful conversations. He had been a great partner in crime for me in those days when I was in training for leadership. I've seen him mature immensely. Despite his young age, he has proven himself capable of overcoming obstacles and handling overwhelming challenges, which qualified him to a position of influence and authority.

His father passed away when he was 6 years old. But that was not the end of him. Though his teenage years had been a crazy rough ride for him, he came to a turning point in life when he decided to make things right. From then on, Lucas started to become a better man. More than the looks, his talents and personality, his character shines out the brightest. Girls go gaga over him for he'd make a good husband and father to his future family.

One of the best qualities I admire him for is his genuine love for people. He is definitely not a typical Singaporean, I must say. He is really into people's lives, truthfully caring about others' welfare. I would not be surprised to see the former lukewarm irregulars come back to church burning with passion for God. He believed in people, saw their potential and brought out the best in them. The once CMIs (cannot make it) have transformed because of a leader who is all a mentor, friend and father to them. I'm privileged to have known a "Timothy" in this modern day who has become a great role model. He didn't despise his youth and became an example to many. Rock on, bro!

JIN LIAN: N256 and N430

(Oct 2007 - Oct 2009)

Among my cell group leaders, I have served Jin Lian the longest. What an honor indeed! It was in 2002 when I first met her. I immediately felt at ease being around her because she is so accommodating and approachable. When I first learned that I'll be transferred to her cell group, I got excited. I knew I would easily cope up and adjust to the new environment with her support.

I will always be grateful to her for providing me a platform to step up. Sometimes I felt that she believed in me more than I believed in myself. The life stories she shared gave me a glimpse of her being human - weak and strong at the same time. That is why it never seemed impossible for me to see the best that could become of me with God's help.

Jin Lian may not be the "scolding" type of leader, but the gentle words she speaks forth truly penetrate people's hearts, bringing about a renewed mindset in an individual. She makes a good teacher, especially among the youths. She would patiently lay down principles and explain why this thing should or should not be done.

Now that we're with working adults at N430, her discipleship style changed a bit, catering to a more mature audience. It is so amazing how she lived up to the challenge of leading adults who are older in age and with higher education (some got PhD and MBA). All I can say is that it has to do with her great attitude and dependency on God. And I am glad I was by her side to witness all that.

I am now entering another phase in my life in CHC where I will be mingling with a totally different group of people. They may not be so different from me for I am one of them, but they are to my current zone because they are Filipinos. I am uncertain what lies ahead for me. But I will definitely "dabao" all the little gems of wisdom that I gathered from my past experiences with my leaders at ET zone. I will forever be grateful for you!

Consequences of Unwise Decisions

I was on reflective mode on the way back home from Chinese class after watching the service webcast. End of the year is coming soon and I just felt our family's future is as blur as mist.

Wrong decisions have been made in the past and til now we seem to be carrying those consequences, stuck in the cycle of defeat. Sadly, no matter how hard I try to make wise decisions for myself, history repeats itself in a different form.

I wish I could say I can't be bothered. I have my own life to live and enjoy. But I am getting tired of making up for people's unwise decisions. My ears go numb at all the complaints when they are the ones causing trouble in the first place.

I'm weary of coming up with solutions when the problems keep springing from them. We haven't gotten over yesterday's complications and each day more and more pop up. Don't they ever learn from past mistakes? Don't they ever want to see our lives progress?

Sometimes I just want to retreat to a far away land and let them handle everything. Sounds like a tempting exit, aye?! Only in my imagination for now..

Signing off before I break into tears.. I need to seek refuge from my Strong Tower..

Crossroads

I used to keep a diary when I was a teenager and even had a spiritual journal from 2002 to 2005. I'm the kind who likes to sketch images on my notes. I remember after graduating from college, a few times I would draw a lady in the midst of crossroads looking at signs that point to everywhere. There's a bubble near her head with lots of question marks. That's usually how I am when moments come that a decision has to be made.

It's becoming even more critical when one is in the midst of major changes in life. Like changing jobs or finding one, relocation, marriage, death of a loved one, etc. In my case recently the changes involve company management (and colleagues), dropping guitar class for Mandarin course, probable transition to a new zone and cell group, relocation of family members - just to name a few.

Pros and cons will always be there but what outweighs it all is your perseverance to really make things happen despite all the hardships that will come along the way. I believe I'm entering another phase in life where there's an opportunity for greater growth and maturity. And I love what Pst Kong says that endurance is about enlarging your capacity. Having done all that you could and the best shot you've got, are you going to stand firm and endure?

Oftentimes we're afraid to make choices because of the consequences coupled with it. We'd rather stay in our comfort zone and remain at status quo. Lesser risks, lesser troubles, lesser discomfort.. and sadly, eventually you'll always feel you've achieved less or nothing in life.

Year end is just around the corner. Resolutions and smarter goals will once again be drafted out. May we be guided by wisdom and led by courage to JUST DO IT! God's grace will be there to see you through..

Precious Moments Captured

A colleague would tease me about naming my future children after camera brands such as Canon, Casio, Nikon, etc. Admittedly, I am a camera freak but I’m never a lunatic for its own sake. There are wonderful reasons behind it =)

I may be gifted with an eye for good shots and scenic angles but nothing comes close to capturing precious moments and the people in it.

Everyone goes through seasons in life. In that period we cross paths with different people from various backgrounds. The circle of friends we have may not be mutual friends with others. Every setting is unique and the experiences shared are worth remembering, especially those that really made me smile.

It was in 1996 when I had my very first camera. I was at a youth camp in Bataan when I got the inspiration to take my fellow campers’ photos against picturesque background. That was the time of film rolls and 3R photo papers. Even as a student, I would set aside money for developing the hard copies.

I grab hold of my first digicam after I sold my drumset. Good thing my dear friend Emman shares the passion of taking pictures with me so we didn't think twice about sharing one camera. From then on, it has been endless. My digital photos are organized into folders according to dates or type of events and copied into CDs. Sometimes I sort them according to individuals and group of friends.

Snapshots of my first-time overseas travels like the ones in US and Singapore were creatively laid out in a scrap book. The pics were too many that I had to combine two large self-adhesive albums into one and drive a nail through.

Countless old photos bring back memories of many wonderful moments. And surprisingly, my feelings at that moment seem to come alive. Those very special people may not cross paths with me again in the future. But at least I have my albums to remind me of the chapters of my life that they became a part of... which I would love to revisit over and over again for ages to come =)

Sept 26 > GJ Guen Joyce's Sweet 16

TO THOSE I'VE INVITED:

Hiyee.. Feels like sweet 16… This year, I’ll be celebrating my birthday (actual day’s 25th) with some good friends such as YOU! I hope you can pop by so I can capture you into my “precious moments” album on my special day… hee..

It’ll be a simple chillaxing by the beach with other friends. Food and drinks will be served.

BUT!!! You are more than welcome to add in some refreshments =) I only ordered catered food for 40 pax. The rest will be potbless. We also have room for alcoholic drinks. So yah, bring them in. Hehe...

For those of you going for the F1 race or have other dinner gatherings, you can come by before or after that. We'll be there til late night, possibly overnight if I choose to rent a chalet or pitch a tent nearby.

See details below:

When: 26th Sept 2009 (Sat) 7pm onwards
* I'll be there by 6pm straight from Mandarin class; My family will start setting up before that. If you can come early to help, it would be GREAT!!!

Where: East Coast Park BBQ Pit #38D Area D
– In front of Goldkist Beach Resort (formerly Island Resort)
– Walking distance from Carpark D2 or D3

How to get there:

By Bus: Take bus 401 from Bedok Interchange and alight at the bus stop behind the resort
By Cab: Hop on a cab from Bedok MRT, costs around $5-7 per trip. Stop at carpark D2 and walk towards the front of the resort.
By Car: Park at either Carpark D2 or D3 then walk to the beachfront.

RSVP: GJ - 9843 5024 or my bestie Myla - 83478587

See you there!!!

Breathe - Faith Hill

My bestie Myla is here in SG and I got her to help me out on this one - "Breathe" by Faith Hill. We shared good laughs over this vid and I hope you like it.

The first one's more of a serious look (like we can really feel the magic floating in the air) while the latter's kinda wacky and screwloose. Hehe..